What Changes People?

When I was in the sixth grade, I was walking down the school hallway when an older girl suddenly approached me and threatened, “I’m going to beat you up!” My stunned response was, “Why?” She answered, “I don’t like the way you act.” Before I could even process what was going on, I blurted out, “I’ll change!” She stared at me, looking a bit bewildered, slowly turned and walked away. Looking back, I’m sure that had I been confrontational and said, “I don’t care what you think, and I don’t like you either,” she wouldn’t have changed…and I might have gotten beat up. 

We see conflict and confrontation over differing viewpoints and opinions everywhere today. It seems as though people think that if they just confront others and shout their opinions louder and louder at those who disagree with them, they will win. We need to ask ourselves if our purpose is to get our “right” opinions out there or to bring honor to God through showing respect and kindness. The truth is that most people don’t really care what we think. What gets their attention is what we do. It’s how we show our faith. The Scripture says, “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love” (Galatians 5:6). What pleases and honors God is when we express our faith in Him through loving acts and words to other people as Jesus did. The Scripture says that “God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and He went around doing good and healing” (Acts 10:38). He was empowered to do good, and in doing good, He brought healing everywhere He went. 

I’ve come to see that the loving attitude of our heart toward others can bring healing and resolution and even change in others…but not always. However, even if they don’t change, we change. The Scripture says, “Those who are kind benefit themselves” (Proverbs 11:17). Another translation says, “Your own soul is nourished when you’re kind.” When you’re good to people, you bring healing to them, and you nourish your own soul. You’re breaking down walls and barriers that would keep you limited, which is what matters the most to God. He’s not going to ask us how many people we changed, but whether we walked in love. 

In a world full of differences, we need to be determined to be loving toward people, especially difficult people. Look for opportunities to be good to a grumpy coworker or a contentious neighbor. The Scripture says, “Do not withhold good from whom it is due, when it is in your power to act” (Proverbs 3:27). We can do far, far more through loving acts than we can by confronting others with our opinions. You’ll be amazed by how God works through the expressions of your love and touches the lives of others.